The Carnaval in Salvador, Brazil, is said to be the biggest party on earth. A lot of guides exist out there about how to have fun, survive, etc. So I thought, for my blog of Carnaval, I’ll help out those poor sods who desperately want to be grumpy stick-in-the-muds but don’t have anywhere to turn to amidst people that are hell bent on everyone having a fun time. Read on for How to have the Worst Carnaval Experience ever!

So what is Carnaval?

The Carnaval is a 5 day festival, usually happening in the first week of February. While the Carnaval in Rio de Janeiro is the more famous one outside of Brazil, it is more of a show to sit back and watch (or dress up like a drag queen and participate, your choice!).

Within Brazil, the Brasileiros consider Salvador to be the one to come check out. This is the one I attended. It’s a huge street party, a festival of gargantuan proportions. About 2 million people descend onto about 4 kilometers of the Carnaval route for drinking, dancing, and general debauchery. That’s about 500 people per metre! That density changes depending on whether you’re in an overpriced ‘Camarote’ (see below) or just jumping ‘Pipoca’ on the street. Either way, you’re guaranteed to be in a sea of jumping, dancing, screaming, humanity. It can either be tons of fun, or an extremely terrible experience depending on your perspective.

I arrived in Salvador a couple days early to settle in and get acclimatized. Walking around, I kept seeing signs of “Carnaval – 30 years of Axe Music”! I was quite surprised that Axe had been sponsoring Carnaval for 30 years! Mind you, its not a bad idea to have a deodorant maker sponsor possibly the sweatiest event on the planet. But I didn’t think Axe had been around even that long. My surprise was quelled with a local pointed out that it wasn’t “Axe”, but “Axé”. It is pronounced “uh-shay”, and is a type of Brazilian Music that is played a lot during Carnaval.

An example of a popular Axé song during this year’s Carnaval.  “Cartório” by Claudia Leitte… (Press the big orange button to hear the song)

If you like the above music, well then Carnaval is for you. If you don’t, well, there’s always the next rerun of “The Real Housewives of Orange County”…

Salvador Carnaval 101

The Carnaval is essentially a huge parade. During all 6 days, huge trucks with an entire concert stage rigged onto it, along with about a few 10,000 watts of sound systems, make their way slowly down the street, with prominent singers belting out popular numbers. Mostly Axé, with a decent helping of ‘Pagode’, and a little bit of EDM.

Each truck takes about 4 hours to make its way from one end of the parade path ‘circuit’, to the other end. As it makes its way down, 1000’s of people dance around it and on top of it, while 1000’s more watch from the pavements and 1000’s more, from built up stands. These in essence, are the three ways you engage in Carnaval: Camarote, Bloco, and Pipoca.

“Camarote”

A Camarote is a big blocked off area with a raised platform, big enough to accommodate about 500-1000 people. Maybe 50m long, with two levels, a mini dance floor, a bar and food counter. You pay a premium to enter these Camarotes. From 50-150$ depending on how famous a Camarote is, and if they have any famous celebrities performing. Most Camarotes include the food and drinks in the cost. I spent a day in one of the Camarotes (Camarote central). It was all right, and it was good if you want some space around you so that you can watch all the folks on the street dancing, and watch the trucks go by. It’s a much tamer experience than the other 2 options. So take it if you are part of a family, a group of younger women, or are elderly. These were the there demographics I saw there. And these are also moneyed folks.

On the far left the huge construction is a Camarote from where the richer folks look calmly (relatively) at the mayhem on the street.

“Bloco”

A section around the trucks is “roped off”, literally. A few hundred people all hold a thick rope and extend it to form a rectangle stretching around the truck, from one side of the road to the other, and stretching about 50m in either direction in front and behind the truck. Within this ‘block’, or ‘bloco’ are the folks who paid good money to be here (again in the 50-150 range). This is very similar to being outside the ropes in the sense that what you do is bounce around and dance and follow the truck. The only difference is that you have slightly more space around you, and you have a lesser chance of being robbed, as everyone around you could afford an expensive ticket. I spent one day in a Bloco to experience it. It was cool, but then you end up being behind only one truck listening to one type of music. It’s great if you really love the artist. Otherwise, you’re better off in a Camarote, or a Pipoca

Huge Trucks, huger sound

“Pipoca”

This is the lower deck of the Titanic. This is the cheapest way to enjoy Carnaval. It costs nothing, except probably all your money if you get robbed. Pipoca is portuguese for Popcorn. And from a distance that’s what it looks like. Throngs of people bouncing about like popcorn. A Pipoca is anyone who doesn’t buy into a Camarote or Bloco. You get to wander about the streets, follow any truck outside the ropes, or chill on the beach next to the road. It’s a lot freer, and there are a lot more people doing pipoca. So be prepared to be in thick crowds where you might actually be in a Brazilian meat sandwich. 100s of people all stuck together. If you do Pipoca, and I did everyday except the one day I was in a Camarote, do not take any extra money with you, nor camera or cellphone. I personally never got pickpocketed, but then I look like a local! My all-white american friend did, and I’ve heard enough other stories of it as well.

As you jump and dance and enjoy the view, thousands of beer, water and food sellers slither their way through the crowd with amazing dexterity, selling their wares before disappearing into the sea of people.

Yes that’s what it feels like too!

 
So now that you know the basics of Carnaval, here’s…

How to Ensure a Terrible Time at Carnaval!

1. Find a place far away to stay

A ton of people attend Carnaval. And unlike strip malls in the US, Salvador doesn’t have half its real estate devoted to parking structures. So people either car pool 5-6 people to a car, or take taxis or buses in. Arranging for that can be an interesting affair, as is taking buses back at the end of the night (i.e. 6AM). Getting caught up in logistics and wrangling for transport when tired and possibly hungover is a good way to keep your grumpiness going.

2. Goto sleep early

Everyday, Carnaval starts at around 3pm. Well that’s not exactly true. For some reason everyday precisely at 1030AM, one truck passes by blaring music with a few hundred people dancing around it. But other than this singular anomaly, Carnaval starts at 3pm. People also start sauntering in then. It picks up momentum around 5, and continues to build momentum (I.e. People, loudness, music, chaos, and dancing) till it peaks at around midnight. That peak stays till about 3am when it begins to come down. By 4 there’s less people, and by 5-530, Theres only maybe about 500 people left on the street…
They also leave by 6 at which pint the cleaning crew kicks in, and cleans up the piles of debris and sprays away the collected ‘waters’ (read next point). And the roads are reset for the next day. As you can imagine, my sleep cycle was from 7AM-2PM everyday (with a break at 10:30 due to that dratted singular truck). To miss out on most of the fun, make sure you goto bed by 8pm and wake up at 6 to encounter the cleaning crew and walk amidst huge piles of paper and plastic and garbage trucks clearing out the road.

3. Come with a full bladder, and eat a lot of food

As you know by now, Carnaval is about 2 million people. Provided for these folks are a couple 1000 portable toilets installed along the route. Did you work it out? That’s about one toilet for every 1000 people!!! If you thought the logistics were bad at your club/party/hostel, it’s got nothing on the logistics here!
So what do people do? Well your primary diet when you’re at Carnaval is beer. Hence you will most likely need to pee. Thankfully, the ‘big job’ as my little nephew says, doesn’t happen very often. Men usually use the toilets on the street only for them big jobs. If you’re in a Camarote, logistics are much more favorable, at like 1 toilet for 50 people. Even so, the street toilets have lines. So what do people do, well, just next to the street is Natures oldest, and biggest toilet. The Atlantic Ocean. A lot of folks just wade in to take care of business. The rest just pee on the street. Men find any corner, tree, lamppost, or otherwise slightly shielded area to return some beer. I’ve seen groups of girls form a protective circle around a girl that needed to pee on the sidewalk even!
Very soon lots of puddles build up in the cracks between the road and pavement, and on building corners. They consist of water, from a bit of rain or yesterday’s cleaning, beer, and urine (which is mostly beer anyway). Occasionally you would need to divert your step while walking. Or else wear solid shoes that get washed or tossed at the end of Carnaval!

4. Expect high standards of cleanliness and hygiene

One of the most fun things I did during the Carnaval was dancing behind one of the blocos bouncing up and down, hands in the air, amidst a 1000 sweaty bodies all rubbing up against each other. It was a giant mosh pit. Sure it’s hot, sweaty, smelly, and loud. But at those moments I felt one with the entire crowd, as we all moved in waves like one big organism. So if you’re a neat freak, it’s the perfect place to be completely horrified at the intermingling of sweat. In addition to that, there the gracious smell of urine that slowly builds up over the week in some places. So the smell of sweat is sometimes a godsend.

5. Try to walk along the road when a bloco is passing by

So this is an interesting phenomenon. Since space is at a premium, all the rope holders stretch the ropes out to the edges of the road to give the folks inside room to dance. As a result, the Pipoca folks have to make do with very little space. When a truck passes by, you often find yourself standing on each others toes. In addition there’s people making their way somewhere or the other. Just like traffic in every big city where you find half the populace going west and half going east, there are always a few hundred people needing immediately to go somewhere. Wading through the crowd with a bloco rope pushing everybody in is quite the experience, and an agoraphobe’s haven.

6. Try pagode dancing

While dancing to Axé consists primarily of swaying your hips, with a sprinkling of twerking thrown in, ‘Pagode’ dancing is very similar to boxing. Throngs of people. Usually drunk 20-somethings bounce about throwing punches in the air, and at anyone in their general vicinity. Watching a pagode dance looks like watching 200 boxing matches happening all at once. More than a few folks end up with cuts and bruises, while still smiling, and every Pagode dance party I saw ended with the police breaking up the festivities.

If, after trying out all suggestions above, you’re still having fun (I can’t believe it!) then as a last resort, try the point below. It is guaranteed to end any good times that are in danger of taking over your spirits!

7. Goto one of the military police and grab his butt

There’s 1000’s of Military Police there to keep the peace. Granted they have a tough job. It’s riot control with a couple million people. So they do not give any quarter. If someone is seen getting angry, violent, or behaving inappropriately, out come their batons. and when they use it, they hit hard! Blood gets spilt. I have seen one guy go down from one hit. Needless to say, everyone is terrified of the cops. At during peak times like midnight, there’s cop squads that pass by every 30 seconds. It’s almost funny, the crowd will be going wild dancing. Suddenly everyone stops. The cops walk by. And the dancing starts. So it goes- 25 seconds of dance and 5 seconds of demurely standing by- and repeat!

The crowd parting ways for the Police squad

All said and done, Carnaval is a sweaty, smelly, crowded and messy place. But something about the energy in the air makes you forget all that. When the next singer starts off with the chorus of another popular song, it is something else to be in the middle of a thousand people that start moving in unison to the music, their combined voices joining the singer’s in belting out the lyrics. And for those moments, as you look around, see the smiling laughing faces jumping about to the song and doing their dance moves, you don’t notice the smells, you don’t feel your achy legs from being on them all day, you don’t feel the soreness from being bumped around. You merge with it and you become part of something amazing. In that moment, we all are Carnaval.